Student Blog 9

And we’re back. Two months, one long holiday and plenty of news to digest which would feature in this edition were it not for the constant influx of apocalyptic nonsense that seems to sprout whenever this blog is not running. And it’s only October! During the holidays, there were a lot of stories ranging from the riots in Charlottesville, Virginia to the destructive powers of Hurricane Harvey to the almost ironic Brexit talks. But instead of regurgitating stories from months passed, let’s focus on the current news in this, the first blog of the academic year 2017-18. Yay!

Hot Off the Press (replacing News of the Week):

In the UK, all political parties held their conferences. Labour’s was in Brighton and was very reminiscent of a football after-party with most MPs present chanting ‘Oh, Jeremy Corbyn’, a chant symbolising Labour’s ‘win’ in the General Election which for some MPs 12 months ago would have been like joining a satanic cult and speaking a language forged from the depths of hell. Arguably, the Labour Party is now just one unified nation, believing in a myth that will probably come back to haunt them but still not deciding on their position on Brexit.

The Liberal Democrats’ conference was held in Bournemouth and was the stage for new leader Sir Vince Cable to announce that it was not delusional for him to see himself as becoming Prime Minister. You would, however, have been forgiven for immediately glossing over this news as a gathering of 12 ‘important’ people along with a scattering of members of the public as this doesn’t even constitute a stag party, let alone the supporters of a political party in the UK.

UKIP’s conference was held ironically in a building funded by the EU in Torquay. During the ‘conference’, a new logo was unveiled for UKIP, which almost imitates the Premier League’s. Surely this is another example of irony: an anti-foreigners party using the logo of an institution that was once England-centric but now foreigners outnumber the ‘home-grown’ talent. Also UKIP’s new leader was unveiled as being Henry Bolton, a former Liberal Democrat.

Finally, the Conservative conference was held in Manchester last week and was supposed to be the stage on which Theresa May would make her resurgence like a phoenix rising from the ashes of the hatred of the rest of the party. Under mounting pressure from leadership rivals like Jacob Rees-Mogg and Boris Johnson, a man who sets out his vision for Brexit in a newspaper, Theresa May took the stage but failed disastrously. Firstly, she was plagued by the karma of a cold, probably brought on by her cold-hearted decision to hold a snap election, which the Conservatives rallied around her for battling through. Secondly, prankster Simon Brodkin handed May a fake P45 (redundancy) notice which he claimed was from Boris and finally, for a touch of irony, letters from the Conservatives’ slogan started falling off (probably representing the deterioration of power she has over her own party, let alone the DUP, Brexit talks and our country).

There is going to be no Hall of Fame this week as all news was depressing and trying to find someone is like looking for a needle in a haystack the size of the ego of Boris Johnson.

Comments are closed.